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- Motivation Part III: Judging Actions vs. Intentions
Parenting is a journey filled with highs, lows, and countless decisions that shape our children’s lives. One of the most challenging aspects for parents of teens and young adults is to think about is whether they are considering their teen's real intentions when judging their actions. Are they reacting that way because they had a bad day at school, just had an argument with their best friend, or are they just being belligerent because that's what teens sometimes do? Image by cookie_studio on Freepik This distinction can significantly affect how you guide and support your teen through the tumultuous years of adolescence. The Complex Nature of Adolescence Teenagers are in a unique stage of life. They’re navigating a world where they’re expected to be more independent while still needing guidance. This phase is marked by physical, emotional, and psychological changes that sometimes make it difficult for them to express themselves clearly. Misunderstandings often arise when parents focus solely on their teen’s actions without considering the intentions behind them. Perhaps your teen is struggling with relationships at school and is in a bad mood because of that, not because they won’t take out the garbage and are looking for an augment with you. Understanding the difference between actions and intentions is essential in fostering a healthy, open relationship with your teen. Actions are what they do; intentions are why they do it. While actions are visible and measurable, intentions are often hidden and easily misunderstood. As a parent, it’s essential to dig deeper, beyond the surface of your teen’s behavior, to understand the motivations and feelings that drive their actions. Example Story: A Tale of Misunderstood Intentions To illustrate this point, let’s examine the story of Sarah and her teenage son, Jake. Sarah noticed that Jake had become increasingly withdrawn over the past few months. He spends more time in his room, avoiding family activities, and his grades are slipping. Image by freepik Worried, Sarah decided to confront Jake. During their conversation, she expressed her disappointment and frustration with his lack of effort in school and his distance from the family. She accused him of being lazy and ungrateful, focusing solely on his actions—poor grades, isolation, and a seeming lack of interest in family life. Feeling attacked, Jake became defensive, and the conversation ended in a heated argument, with neither side feeling understood. What Sarah didn’t realize was that Jake was struggling with anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. His withdrawal was not due to laziness but rather a coping mechanism. Jake intended to protect himself from what he perceived as overwhelming stress and pressure. Had Sarah taken the time to explore Jake’s intentions behind his actions, she might have approached the situation differently. Instead of jumping to conclusions, she could have created a safe space for Jake to open up about his feelings, leading to a more productive conversation and a better understanding of how to support him. Talking Points to Help Parents Guide Their Teens Image by freepik Create an Open Dialogue: Encourage Honest Communication One of the most effective ways to understand your teen’s intentions is by fostering open communication. Create a safe, non-judgmental space where your teen feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions. Instead of jumping to conclusions about their actions, ask open-ended questions, encouraging them to share the reasons behind their behavior. For example, if your teen is struggling with school, instead of saying, “Why are you so lazy?” try asking, “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling with your schoolwork lately. Can you tell me what’s going on?” This approach shows that you’re interested in understanding their perspective rather than simply criticizing their actions. Maintaining an open dialogue demonstrates to your teen that their feelings and intentions matter. This can help build trust and encourage them to come to you with their concerns rather than feeling judged or misunderstood. Sometimes, you need to coach or mentor your teen or young adult. For more information, see my other article, Motivation Part II: Coaching vs. Controlling. Practice Empathy: See the World Through Their Eyes Empathy is a powerful tool in understanding your teen’s intentions. It involves putting yourself in their shoes and considering their feelings. Teenagers often face pressures that parents may not fully understand: academic stress, social challenges, and the quest for identity can all impact their behavior. When your teen acts out or makes a mistake, consider what might be driving their actions. Are they feeling overwhelmed, insecure, or misunderstood? By approaching situations with empathy, you can better understand their intentions and respond in a way that supports their emotional needs. For instance, if your teen lashes out in anger, instead of reacting with frustration, take a moment to consider what might be causing their anger. Are they feeling unheard or stressed about something? Acknowledging their emotions and validating their feelings can go a long way in helping them feel understood and supported. Focus on Growth: Encourage Learning from Mistakes Adolescence is a time of learning and growth, and mistakes are a natural part of this process. Instead of solely focusing on the negative consequences of your teen’s actions, use these moments as opportunities for growth. Help your teen understand that while their actions may have been problematic, their intentions can guide them toward making better choices in the future. For example, if your teen breaks a rule or gets into trouble, talk about what led to their behavior instead of harshly punishing them. Discuss the impact of their actions, but also explore their intentions and what they can learn from the experience. This approach helps them take responsibility for their actions and empowers them to make positive changes in the future. By focusing on growth, you shift the narrative from blame and punishment to learning and development. This helps your teen understand that while mistakes are inevitable, they are also opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement. The Path is not always clear or simple. Parenting a teenager is a complex and often challenging journey, but understanding the difference between actions and intentions can make all the difference in how you connect with and support your teen. By creating an open dialogue, practicing empathy, and focusing on growth, you can help your teen navigate the challenges of adolescence with greater confidence and resilience. Remember, your teen’s actions may not always reflect their true intentions. By taking the time to understand the motivations behind your teen's behavior, you can build a stronger, more trusting relationship with them—one that supports their emotional well-being and helps them grow into the person they are meant to be. The story of Sarah and Jake reminds us that as parents, we must strive to see beyond the surface of our teen’s actions and seek to understand the intentions that drive them. This approach strengthens the parent-teen relationship and empowers our teens to make better choices, learn from their mistakes, and grow into well-rounded, emotionally healthy adults. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. If you ever need additional support or resources, don't hesitate to contact Darrin at Teen Ideal, www.Teenideal.com . I can assist you and your family every step of the way. Together, we can help our teens overcome challenges and live fulfilling lives. Let's help your son become the best man he can be.
- Motivation Part I: Rewards, Threats, and Punishments for Teenagers
As a parent, wanting the best for your teenager is natural. You want them to succeed, to be responsible, and to make good choices. Image on Freepik Many parents turn to common strategies like rewards, threats, and punishments to encourage this behavior. However, these methods often prove ineffective in the long run, frustrating both parents and teens. Consider yourself for a minute. Let's say you're driving to a store, and you only have 30 mins before you need to return to work. You are the only car at the stop sign, so you do a rolling stop. Be honest; you know you should come to a complete stop, but you slow down to a crawl and ease through the stop sign. Well, today, you notice a camera watching the stop sign. What do you do? This time you stop fully. But have you changed your behavior, or are you just reacting to a threat of getting a fine? What will you do at the next stop sign without a camera? Rewards, Threats, and Punishments are less effective than you think. The Ineffectiveness of Rewards, Threats, and Punishments At first glance, rewards, threats, and punishments seem like logical tools for influencing behavior. If your teen gets good grades, you reward them with a new gadget. If they miss curfew, you ground them. If they refuse to do chores, you threaten to take away privileges. However, these methods are often counterproductive, especially with teenagers striving for independence and autonomy. 1. Rewards Can Undermine Intrinsic Motivation Image by 8photo on Freepik Imagine this scenario: Tomas, a 16-year-old, has always loved drawing. He finds joy in creating art and often spends hours in his room with a pencil in hand. Seeing his passion, Tomas’s parents encourage him by offering a monetary reward for each drawing he completes. At first, Tomas is thrilled, but over time, something shifts. He begins to see painting as a task rather than a passion, and his love for drawing starts to wane. Eventually, he stops drawing altogether. This story illustrates a fundamental issue with rewards: they can undermine intrinsic motivation. When rewarded for activities they naturally enjoy or value, teens may start to see those activities as chores rather than fulfilling pursuits. The focus shifts from the joy of the activity to the external reward, which can lead to a decrease in motivation over time. 2. Threats and Punishments Can Damage Relationships Consider another example: Marcus, a 15-year-old, struggles with his grades. His parents worry about his future and threaten to take away his phone if he doesn’t improve. Feeling pressured and anxious, Marcus starts to resent his parents. Image by freepik The more they threaten, the more he withdraws, and his grades drop. The relationship between Marcus and his parents becomes strained, and open communication becomes rare. Threats and punishments can create a power struggle between parents and teens, leading to resentment and damaged relationships. Instead of fostering cooperation, these tactics often result in rebellion or withdrawal, making it even more challenging for parents to guide their teens effectively. Moreover, teens may learn to comply out of fear rather than understanding, which doesn’t encourage long-term behavioral change. 3. Short-Term Compliance vs. Long-Term Growth When parents use rewards, threats, and punishments, they might achieve short-term compliance, but they often fail to foster long-term growth. For instance, if a teen only studies to avoid punishment or earn a reward, they might not develop a genuine interest in learning. The desired behavior may also disappear once the reward is removed or the threat is no longer imminent. True motivation comes from within. Teens need to understand the value of their actions and develop a sense of responsibility and self-discipline. This requires a shift from external motivators to internal ones, where teens are encouraged to reflect on their choices and understand the positive and negative consequences of their actions. Three Steps to Help Parents Guide Their Teens 1. Encourage Autonomy and Responsibility Teens are at a stage where they crave independence, yet they still need guidance. Encouraging autonomy doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want but instead giving them the space to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcomes. Consider setting clear expectations and discussing the reasons behind rules and boundaries rather than imposing them unilaterally. For example, discuss the importance of safety and mutual trust instead of punishing your teen for missing curfew. Discuss how they can take responsibility for their actions and involve them in setting a reasonable curfew on which you and your teen agree. When teens feel respected and involved in decision-making, they are more likely to take ownership of their actions and understand the consequences. 2. Focus on Intrinsic Motivation Help your teen connect their actions to their values and interests rather than external rewards. Image by freepik If your teen is struggling with schoolwork, instead of offering a reward for good grades, explore what might make the learning process more engaging for them. Ask questions like, “What subjects do you enjoy most?” or “How can we make studying more interesting?” Encourage your teen to set personal goals that align with their interests and passions. Consider finding subjects they’re curious about, discovering hobbies they love, or setting long-term goals that they’re excited to work towards. When teens are motivated by their goals and interests, they are more likely to develop a genuine love for learning and self-improvement. 3. Build a Supportive and Open Relationship One of the most effective ways to motivate your teen is to build a relationship based on trust, respect, and open communication. When teens feel heard, understood and supported, they are more likely to seek guidance and share their challenges with you. Make an effort to listen to your teen without judgment. Create an environment where they feel safe expressing their thoughts and feelings, even if they differ from yours. Instead of immediately jumping to solutions or consequences, ask them how they think a situation should be handled or what they believe would be fair. Fostering a supportive relationship can help you guide your teen toward self-reflection and help them develop problem-solving skills. This encourages responsible behavior and strengthens your bond with your teen, making them more receptive to your guidance. Conclusion Parenting a teenager is no easy task, and it’s natural to feel frustrated or concerned when they don’t seem motivated. However, it’s important to remember that rewards, threats, and punishments often fail to produce the long-term results you’re hoping for. Instead, focus on strategies that promote autonomy, intrinsic motivation, and open communication. Doing so will help your teen develop a sense of responsibility and self-discipline that will serve them well throughout their lives. Remember, the goal isn’t just to get your teen to comply with your wishes but to help them become a motivated, responsible, and self-aware adults. This approach may take more time and patience, but the rewards – a stronger relationship with your teen and their personal growth – are well worth the effort. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. If you need additional support or resources, don't hesitate to reach out to Darrin at Teen Ideal www.Teenideal.com . I can assist you and your family every step of the way. Together, we can help our sons grow and live up to their potential. Let's help your son become the best man he can be.
- Motivation Part II: Coaching vs. Controlling
A Balanced Approach to Teen Parenting Parenting teens can be one of the most challenging phases of a parent's journey. The transition from childhood to adolescence is filled with rapid physical, emotional, and psychological changes. Image by jcomp on Freepik As teens seek independence, parents often find themselves torn between guiding their children and exerting control. Understanding the difference between coaching and controlling is key to fostering a healthy parent-teen relationship that promotes growth, trust, and mutual respect. Jake's Story: The Tug-of-War Between Coaching and Controlling Imagine a parent, Sarah, who is navigating the challenging teenage years with her son, Jake. Jake is a bright and ambitious 16-year-old who excels academically but struggles with time management and self-discipline. Sarah, concerned about Jake's future, begins to take a more hands-on approach to ensure he stays on track. She constantly monitors his homework, dictates his extracurricular activities, and even chooses his friends. Feeling suffocated, Jake begins to rebel, leading to tension and arguments at home. The more Sarah tries to control, the more Jake resists. This is a classic example of the pitfalls of controlling parenting. Let's contrast this with another scenario. Sarah decides to take on a coaching role instead of trying to control every aspect of Jake's life. She encourages Jake to set his own goals, helps him develop time management skills, and supports him in finding solutions to his challenges. Instead of micromanaging, she provides guidance and allows Jake to take ownership of his decisions. Image by freepik Over time, Jake becomes more responsible, confident, and motivated. Sarah and Jake's relationship improves, and their home becomes a more peaceful and supportive environment. 1. Understanding the Difference Between Coaching and Controlling The distinction between coaching and controlling can be subtle, yet it has a profound impact on the parent-teen relationship. Coaching is about guiding, supporting, and empowering your teen to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences. It's about being a mentor, helping them set goals, and providing the tools they need to achieve them. Coaching encourages independence, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills. It fosters an environment where teens feel trusted and respected, which in turn builds their self-confidence and resilience. Controlling , on the other hand, involves dictating and micromanaging your teen's life. It often stems from a place of fear or anxiety, where parents feel the need to protect their children from making mistakes. While the intention may be good, controlling behavior can lead to feelings of resentment, rebellion, and a lack of motivation in teens. They may feel stifled, leading to a strained relationship with their parents and a reluctance to take responsibility for their own actions. Jake's Story: Transformation Let's revisit Jake's story to illustrate the impact of these two approaches. Initially, Sarah's controlling behavior led to conflict and resistance. Jake felt his autonomy was being stripped away, leading him to push back against his mother's efforts. However, the dynamic changed when Sarah shifted her approach and began coaching Jake. She encouraged Jake to set his own academic and personal goals, offered guidance on how to achieve them, and allowed him the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. Image by freepik Jake began to take ownership of his responsibilities, and their relationship improved dramatically. 2. The Benefits of Coaching Over Controlling Adopting a coaching approach in parenting offers several long-term benefits for both the teen and the parent. Empowerment and Independence : Coaching empowers teens to take control of their lives. When parents act as coaches, they help their teens develop the skills and confidence needed to make decisions, solve problems, and take responsibility for their actions. This empowerment is crucial for their development into independent and self-sufficient adults. Improved Communication and Trust : A coaching relationship is built on open communication and trust. Teens are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings with parents who listen and provide guidance without judgment. This open line of communication strengthens the parent-teen bond and fosters a supportive environment where teens feel comfortable seeking advice. Reduced Conflict and Increased Cooperation : When parents shift from controlling to coaching, the power struggles that often characterize the teen years begin to diminish. Teens are more likely to cooperate and collaborate with parents who respect their autonomy and encourage their growth. This leads to a more harmonious household where mutual respect and understanding prevail. Jake's Story: The Shift in Sarah and Jake's Relationship As Sarah adopted a coaching approach, she noticed a significant change in her relationship with Jake. The tension that once defined their interactions began to fade. Jake was more willing to listen to his mother's advice and sought her input on important decisions. Cooperative and constructive conversations replaced the power struggles that once dominated their relationship. Image by freepik Jake felt more confident in his ability to make decisions, and Sarah was relieved to see her son taking responsibility for his life. 3. Practical Tips for Parents: How to Be a Coach, Not a Controller Making the transition from a controlling to a coaching parenting style requires self-awareness, patience, and practice. Here are some practical tips for parents looking to adopt a coaching approach: Encourage Goal Setting and Self-Reflection : Help your teen set realistic and achievable goals. Encourage them to reflect on their progress and identify areas for improvement. This fosters a sense of responsibility and helps them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Provide Guidance, Not Answers : When your teen faces challenges, resist the urge to provide solutions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that encourage them to think critically and come up with their own answers. This approach teaches them how to navigate difficulties and builds their confidence in their ability to solve problems. Foster Open Communication : Create an environment where your teen feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively, validate their emotions, and offer support without judgment. This builds trust and helps your teen feel valued and understood. Allow Room for Mistakes : Understand that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process. Use them as teaching moments instead of punishing your teen for their errors. Discuss what went wrong, what they learned, and how they can approach the situation differently in the future. This helps them develop resilience and a growth mindset. Model the Behavior You Want to See : Be a role model for your teen by demonstrating the values and behaviors you want them to adopt. Through your own actions, show them the importance of responsibility, empathy, and perseverance. Teens are more likely to emulate positive behavior when they see it consistently in their parents. Jake's Story: Sarah's Journey to Becoming a Coach Sarah's journey from a controlling parent to a coach wasn't easy. It required her to step back and trust Jake to make his own decisions, even when she was worried about the outcome. Image by freepik She started by encouraging Jake to set his own goals and reflect on his progress. When Jake faced challenges, Sarah resisted the urge to provide solutions and instead asked him questions that helped him think critically. Over time, Jake became more self-reliant and confident in his decision-making abilities. Sarah's relationship with Jake improved, and their home became a more peaceful and supportive environment. Conclusion: The Long-Term Impact of Coaching on Teen Development The teenage years are a critical period for developing independence, self-confidence, and responsibility. As parents, it's natural to want to protect our children from making mistakes, but controlling behavior can hinder their growth. By adopting a coaching approach, parents can empower their teens to take charge of their lives, build essential life skills, and develop a strong sense of self. Coaching, rather than controlling, creates an environment where teens feel supported, trusted, and respected. This approach not only strengthens the parent-teen relationship but also prepares teens for the challenges of adulthood. As Sarah's story illustrates, the shift from controlling to coaching can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship with your teen, paving the way for their future success and happiness. If you need additional support or resources, don't hesitate to contact Darrin at www.Teenideal.com . I can coach you and your teen through these critical adolescent years. Let's help your son become the best man he can be.
- Helping Your Son Navigate Anxiety in Teens
Sometimes, in life, we all want to curl up in a ball like we did when we were young. This self-soothing posture helps us to feel comforted so we can calm down, self-regulate, and eventually figure things out. And sometimes as teens and adults, we forget how to self-regulate or we have just never learned good coping mechanisms as a child. This is where anxiety has the opportunity to kick into high gear and make us feel miserable. Our worries and fears are allowed to spin out of control, even to the point of feeling undesirable, unworthy, unwanted, or even unloved. Anxiety is a common challenge many teens and young men face, and as a parent, it can be distressing to witness your son struggling. However, there are some simple steps you can take to support him through his difficult times. Anxiety Coping Skills For Teens Open Communication All men, even your teen son yearn to be respected. There is no better way to respect your son than to have open, non-judgmental communication. Too often in our society, we are told as men to suck it up, be a man, or even worse, some of the current male-bashing where men are meant to feel like they are horrible people just because they are men. This can all be very confusing for young men who have feelings but are told to squash them. It's not cool to be sad. This is why open communication is key when addressing anxiety in teens and young men. So create a safe and non-judgmental space where your son feels comfortable expressing his feelings. Encourage him to talk openly about what he's experiencing and reassure him that it's okay to feel anxious. Listen Actively Pay attention to what your son is saying without interrupting or offering immediate solutions. Sometimes, all they need is someone to listen. Validate His Feelings Let your son know that his feelings are valid and normal. Avoid dismissing or trivializing his anxiety, as this can make him feel misunderstood. Or worse yet, cause him to stuff his feelings deep down inside himself where he never learns how to deal with them. Ask Open-Ended Questions Instead of asking yes or no questions, encourage deeper conversations by asking open-ended questions that allow him to express himself more fully. By fostering open communication, you can gain insight into your son's anxiety triggers and provide him with the support he needs. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms Teach your son healthy coping mechanisms to manage his anxiety effectively. Encourage activities that promote relaxation and stress relief, such as: Regular Exercise Physical activity is a natural stress reliever and mood booster. Encourage your son to engage in activities he enjoys, whether playing sports, running, skateboarding, or going to the gym. Many gyms have very cheap monthly memberships. Invest $15 - $25 a month in your son’s mental & physical health by encouraging him to join a gym. Shooting hoops can be a great stress relief. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques Introduce your son to mindfulness practices like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation. These techniques can help him stay grounded and calm during moments of anxiety. Check out the Navy Seal Box breathing technique from Quietkit.com. Do you ever see a stressed-out Navy Seal? https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/#:~:text=Inhale%20for%204%20seconds%20(as,as%20the%20circle%20is%20contracted) Pursue Hobbies and Interests Encourage your son to explore hobbies and activities that bring him consistent joy and fulfillment. Whether it's playing music, painting, gaming, hiking, or building models. Engaging in enjoyable activities can distract from anxious thoughts and promote a sense of well-being. By incorporating these healthy coping mechanisms into his daily routine, your son can develop effective strategies for managing his anxiety in the long term. Helping a Child with Anxiety Through Professional Support While parental support is crucial, it's also essential to recognize when professional help may be necessary. If your son's anxiety is significantly impacting his daily life and functioning, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. Life Coaching for Anxiety in Young Male Adults These Professionals like Darrin with Teen Ideal Life Coaching can provide your son with a safe and supportive environment to explore his anxiety and learn coping skills to manage it effectively. Here at Teen Ideal, we offer personalized strategies and interventions tailored to your son's needs. Medication Too often, we shy away from medication due to the stigma that it might be the only option your son needs to help bring balance back into his life. For one of my sons, we waited too long due to this stigma. However, if needed, consult your primary care provider or other qualified healthcare professional to discuss the potential benefits and risks of medications for your son. In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help alleviate symptoms of anxiety. Remember that seeking professional support is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step toward prioritizing your son's mental health and well-being. The earlier you can help him, the more productive and healthy his adult life will be. How many sons wait until they are in their 40s and 50s to seek help? Helping your son navigate anxiety requires patience, understanding, and proactive support. By fostering open communication, encouraging healthy coping mechanisms, and seeking professional guidance when needed, you can empower your son to manage his anxiety effectively and thrive. Let's get your son back on track and provide him with some lifelong tools for mental health! Remember, you're not alone in this journey. If you ever need additional support or resources, don't hesitate to reach out here at Teen Ideal. I can assist you and your family every step of the way. Together, we can help our sons overcome anxiety and live fulfilling lives. Let's help your son become the best man he can be.
- Mastering Anger: Teen Boys and Young Men
Anger in Teen Boys: Who controls you or your anger? Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. However, managing anger can be particularly challenging for teens and young men. Often, our anger stems not from external events, but from our internal dialogue (aka self-talk) and our perceptions. Learning to navigate and work through anger constructively is a vital skill for personal growth and healthy relationships. Let's explore three key steps to help you stop being consumed by anger in the moment and foster a more balanced emotional state. How to Control Anger As a Teenager: Practice Mindfulness and Self-Regulation Mindfulness is a powerful tool in managing anger. It involves being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment. When you feel anger rising, take a moment to pause and check in with yourself. Notice the physical sensations in your body—tightness in your chest, racing heartbeat, clenched fists, or rapid shallow breathing. By bringing awareness to these sensations, you can prevent the escalation of anger and create space for more rational responses. Practice deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation to help calm your body's physiological response to anger. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. This simple technique can help regulate your emotions and restore a sense of calmness. Additionally, consider healthy outlets for expressing anger, such as physical activity or creative pursuits. Engaging in activities that allow you to release pent-up energy constructively can prevent anger from festering and escalating. Tips on How to Control Anger In Teens Recognize Your Triggers The first step in mastering anger is to identify the triggers that set it off. While it may seem like external events or other people's actions are the cause, often, it's our interpretation and internal dialogue that fuel our anger. Reflect on past instances when you've felt angry. What were the circumstances? What thoughts were running through your mind? Understanding the patterns and triggers that ignite your anger is crucial in gaining control over your emotions. Once you've identified the triggers, pay attention to the thoughts and self-talk that accompany them. Are you making assumptions? Are you catastrophizing the situation? Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are rational and reasonable. Sometimes, our anger is fueled by irrational beliefs or distorted perceptions. By recognizing and questioning these thoughts, you can begin to disarm the power they hold over your emotions. Identify Negative Self-talk "Negative self-talk" refers to engaging in critical, self-defeating, or pessimistic internal dialogue. It involves the thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations individuals have about themselves, their abilities, and their circumstances that are often harsh, judgmental, or demoralizing. When you are angry what are you telling yourself? “This is not fair.” or “They are wrong.” What helps is to recognize that you're in charge of your anger not them. You can change your inner dialog and find the truth. Explore the beliefs and thought patterns that may be keeping you angry. Challenge negative self-talk and replace these misbeliefs with true statements. Remember it is your choice to remain angry. Only you can choose to stop spinning on your negative self-talk. Communication and Conflict Resolution Effective communication is essential in managing anger in teens and resolving conflicts. Instead of lashing out or bottling up your emotions, express your feelings assertively and respectfully. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without blaming or accusing others. For example, instead of saying, "You always make me mad," try saying, "I feel frustrated when..." You can even say “I am angry right now.” Example - “I am feeling angry right now. The reason I feel angry is I heard you say … or you did … . These things hurt me or offended me and I feel angry.” Then listen actively to the perspective of the other person and strive to understand their point of view. Do not plan your response while they are talking. Empathy and perspective-taking can foster empathy and promote mutual understanding, paving the way for productive resolution of conflicts. It's also important to know when to take a step back and disengage from a situation if emotions are running high. Taking a timeout allows both parties to cool off and approach the issue with a clearer mind. Calm and open communications like this will help you from becoming bitter or resentful. Mastering Anger is a Journey With Self-awareness, Practice and Patience By recognizing the triggers, practicing mindfulness and self-regulation, and improving communication skills, teen boys and young men can learn to navigate anger more effectively and cultivate healthier relationships. Remember, anger is a normal emotion, but how we choose to respond to it ultimately defines our character and maturity. Embrace these steps as tools for personal growth and emotional well-being, and empower yourself to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life! If you're struggling to navigate your feelings or anger, reach out to Darrin at D2-Coaching for additional help and guidance on your journey to personal growth and fulfillment.
- The Lack of a Defined Road Map to Success for Young Men Today
In the ever-evolving landscape of the 21st century, the journey to success for young men has taken an intriguing turn. And unlike previous generations that often followed a well-trodden path to success, today's young men find themselves navigating uncharted territory. The traditional road map that provided a sense of direction seems to have faded away, leaving many feeling lost and uncertain about their journey ahead. Shifting Societal Expectations Back in the day, societal expectations were clearer, providing a structured framework for success. However, as society has evolved, so have the expectations placed on young men. The conventional paths to success, such as pursuing a stable job or climbing the corporate ladder, have become less defined, leading to this sense of ambiguity for the younger generation. Rapid Technological Advancements The rapid pace of technological advancements has revolutionized industries, creating these new opportunities but at the same time–also dismantling traditional career structures. Young men today face the challenge of adapting to a dynamic job market where the skills required are, in fact, constantly changing, which can be overwhelming, contributing to the feeling of uncertainty about the future. Mental Health Struggles The pressure to succeed in a society that values achievement can take a toll on the mental health of young men. The lack of a clear road map may contribute to increased stress and anxiety as individuals grapple with the fear of making the wrong choices. Addressing mental health challenges becomes crucial in supporting young men on their unique journeys. Embracing Individuality and Diversity While the absence of a traditional road map may be daunting, it also opens the door to embracing individuality and diverse paths to success. Today's young men have the opportunity to define success on their terms, exploring unconventional routes that align with their passions and values. Empowering them to forge their own paths can lead to a more fulfilled and authentic sense of accomplishment. However, even the best ideas need a plan created that can be followed. Mentorship and Coaching with Teen Ideal Recognizing the challenges faced by young men like you today, establishing mentorship & coaching programs, and providing guidance becomes essential. That's why here at Teen Ideal, as your professional Life Coach, I can help you navigate these uncertainties and can offer valuable insights and a sense of direction. Our coaching for young adults can create a support system that helps you build confidence and make informed decisions about your future. Let me help you navigate the uncharted with confidence and resilience! Reach Out Today.
- Navigating the Parent-Teen Relationship: 3 Key Steps for Teenage Boys
Image by Freepik Being a teenager can be a challenging and transformative time in your life. One of the most significant challenges you'll face during these years is managing your relationship with your parents. It's normal to experience conflicts and differences with your parents, but it's also crucial to maintain a healthy and respectful connection with them. In this blog, we'll explore three key steps to help teen boys navigate their relationship with their parents and create a more harmonious family dynamic. 1. Communication is Key Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, including the one you have with your parents. Often, misunderstandings and conflicts arise due to miscommunication. To improve your communication with your parents, consider the following: Active Listening When your parents are speaking, actively listen to what they're saying. Show empathy and understanding, even if you disagree with them. This can go a long way in making them feel heard and respected. Avoid interrupting or getting defensive, and try to see things from their perspective. Express Yourself It's important to express your thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully. Instead of bottling up your emotions or resorting to yelling, calmly discuss your concerns with your parents. Be open and honest, and try to find a compromise that works for both parties. Choose the Right Time Sometimes, it's not the right moment to have a deep conversation. If your parents are busy or stressed, it might be better to wait for a more suitable time to discuss important matters. This shows consideration and can lead to more productive communication. 2. Find Common Ground Your parents may have a different perspective on life due to their age and experience. Finding common ground can help bridge these generational gaps and lead to a more understanding and supportive relationship. Here are some ways to do this: Shared Interests Identify activities or hobbies that you and your parents both enjoy. Participating in these activities together can strengthen your bond and create shared experiences. It can also be an opportunity to learn from each other and see things from a different perspective. Respect Their Values Even if you don't agree with all of your parents' values, it's essential to respect their beliefs and traditions. This doesn't mean you have to adopt all of their values, but it does mean showing understanding and tolerance. When you respect their values, they're more likely to respect yours. Seek Advice Your parents have been through the ups and downs of life, and their advice can be valuable. Don't hesitate to ask for guidance when you face challenges. Their insights and experiences can help you navigate difficult situations. 3. Set Boundaries As a teenager, you're striving for independence, and setting boundaries can help you gain more control over your life while maintaining a healthy relationship with your parents. It's essential to communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully. Open Discussion Sit down with your parents and discuss the boundaries you'd like to establish. This can include curfew, privacy, and responsibilities around the house. Listen to their perspective and try to find a middle ground that works for everyone. Be Responsible Demonstrating responsibility in your daily life can help your parents trust you with more freedom. This includes doing your chores, keeping up with school, and respecting their rules. When you show that you can handle responsibilities, your parents may be more open to negotiating boundaries. Negotiate When Necessary Not all boundaries will be set in stone. Be open to negotiation and compromise, understanding that some rules are for your safety and well-being. When discussing boundaries, approach the conversation with both maturity and respect. Wrapping It Up Navigating the parent-teen relationship can be challenging, but with effective communication, finding common ground, and setting appropriate boundaries, you can improve your connection with your parents. Remember that it's normal to have disagreements and conflicts, but a healthy relationship with your parents can be one of the most valuable aspects of your life. By following these three key steps, you can build a stronger, more respectful, and understanding relationship with your parents, making your teenage years more manageable and enjoyable for everyone involved. Looking for a parent-teen relationship coach? Let's Chat!
- Watering Your Weeds of Misbelief
Based on readings from “Walking with Sam” by Andrew McCarthy & “Telling Yourself the Truth” by William Backus & Marie Chapian Too often I find myself watering the weeds (lies & misbeliefs) and not taking care of the grass and flowers (the truth & goodness) in my life. Image by jcomp on Freepik The Trail of Misbeliefs Andrew McCarthy (Pretty in Pink & Less than Zero) took his son Sam (17) hiking on Spain’s 500-mile-long Camino de Santiago. Andrew was looking to create a more meaningful connection with Sam while recreating his own life-altering journey decades before. Throughout the hike, both Andrew and Sam do a lot of soul-searching. At one point, Andrew is having a restless night. Thoughts about not being a good father or husband. He even had a passing thought that everyone would be better off if I were alone. Spain’s 500-mile-long Camino de Santiago Courtesy of REI https://www.rei.com/blog/travel/how-to-hike-the-camino-de-santiago Like many of us, Andrew was experiencing negative self-talk or misbeliefs. Too often we tell ourselves misbeliefs so often that they become our truths. “What will they think of me if I … “ or “They will reject me if I …” “If my children act out in public others will think I am a bad parent.” The day before I read this chapter, I was telling myself, I was a bad and angry dad, I wasn’t a good friend to others, and even that I wasn’t a good Christian. I knew in my heart that these were all lies, but I still listened to these misbeliefs and allowed myself to feel down for a good portion of that day. I let my misbeliefs run my life. A few hours later I was able to practice my mindfulness tool called SHIFT and get off of that negative path. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment. SHIFT - Mindfulness Image by mdjaff on Freepik What is SHIFT? - Consider a cargo ship. A small 5-degree change in direction will mean 100s of miles of difference by their final destination. We don’t need to do a 180-degree change in our life, just 1-5 degrees. Stagnation – Recognize you are caught in a destructive pattern Heading – Realize your need to change your direction Innovation – Do something different Fearlessness – Dare to do something different (guerilla warfare) Transformation – Repeating above will rewire your brain (Neuroplasticity) The next morning I read Andrew's story and chapter one of “Telling Yourself the Truth” by William Backus & Marie Chapian. Andrew pointed the way to my misbeliefs and William and Marie gave me the steps to combat my misbeliefs Steps Identifying or seeing your disbelief Remove them - I will not listen to this lie anymore Replace them with the truth My example The Lie “I am not a good Father” - The Truth “I raised three healthy, successful, intelligent, and strong adults and I am proud of all three of them” The Lie “I am not a Good Friend” - The Truth “I have many men I call friends or brothers. Men I trust with my life” The Lie “I am not a good Christian” - The Truth “No one is. Jesus is the only one that can judge me and he gave his life for me knowing who I am” D2 Coaching Can help - Let's kill those weeds Image by jcomp on Freepik For personalized support and coaching, consider reaching out to Darrin at D2-Coaching. His expertise and guidance can provide you with the tools to overcome obstacles and chart a course toward a more fulfilling life. Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, and the steps you take today can pave the way for a brighter tomorrow. Embrace the process of growth and transformation, and you'll find yourself breaking free from the shackles of overwhelm, ready to unleash your full potential. What weeds are you watering? Share in comments or better yet, share your new truth! Andrew McCarthy (right) and his son Sam on Spain's Camino de Santiago pilgrimage trail. Photo by Sam McCarthy Links to books on Amazon Walking with Sam: A Father, a Son, and Five Hundred Miles Across Spain Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Anger, and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy
- Mindset Makeover: Young Adult Life Coaching for a Success Mindset
Are you a young adult looking to conquer the world but struggling to find the right path? Don’t worry! Navigating your transition to adulthood can be overwhelming. That is where a young adult life coach comes in. These experts are your guiding stars to help you unlock the secrets of a success mindset. Benefits of Young Adult Life Coaching for a Success Mindset Life coaching for young adults isn’t just about reaching your goals, it is about the journey to become the best version of yourself. Let’s explore how young adult life coaching can reshape your mindset for success: Personalized Guidance to Unleash Your Potential Imagine having a trusted mentor who sees your potential even before you do. A young adult life coach fills that role perfectly. With their skills and expertise, you can get personalized guidance to unlock your unique strengths, aspirations, and passions. This targeted approach propels you towards achieving the goals you might have once deemed unattainable. Breaks Through Self-Limiting Beliefs We all harbor those inner voices of doubt that can hinder our progress. A life coach for young adults excels at silencing those self-limiting beliefs. Therefore, by identifying and addressing these roadblocks, these experts can help you replace your negative thoughts with empowering affirmations. As a result, the transformation from “I can’t” to “I will” becomes not just possible, but inevitable. Sets Clear Goals and Conquers Them Setting clear goals is the first step, achieving them is where the real challenge lies. This is where young adult life coaching steps in. By taking assistance from a renowned professional, you will be able to create crystal-clear achievable goals. The experts help you break these goals down into actionable steps. Master Resilience in the Face of Challenges Life is a journey filled with twists and hurdles. Life coaching for young adults empowers you to master resilience and transform setbacks into stepping stones. By guiding you to see challenges as growth opportunities, they provide you with all the tools to bounce back stronger. With their support, you will cultivate the art of perseverance, developing a mindset that thrives in adversity. Unveils Stress Management Strategies These professionals will show you simple ways to handle your stress in the best possible manner. They will share tricks for managing time better and taking care of yourself. With their assistance, you will be able to learn how to stay focused even when things get busy. These strategies make stress feel smaller and easier to handle. Boosts Your Self-Confidence and Empowerment Imagine stepping into any situation with unshakable confidence. A professional young adult life coach is your personal confidence builder. These experts highlight your strengths, and accomplishments, and remind you of your potential. Therefore, as your self-confidence grows, you will find yourself making bold decisions, seizing opportunities, and stepping out of your comfort zone. Wrapping Up The power to reshape your mindset and chart your course is within reach. Are you ready to seize it? Visit Teen Ideal to take the first step with a life coach for young men and shape your path to a brighter future.
- Building a Strong Foundation: Essential Life Skills for Teens
Image by Freepik Your child’s academic performance isn’t enough to protect his future. Focusing on developing the essential life skills to help him build a strong foundation is important to prepare your teens to be independent, safe, and productive members of society who are well aware of how to survive and thrive on their own. Don’t worry! It’s never too late to prepare your teen for the challenges of the modern world. You can do small things to help your teen with skill-building that doesn’t even require much time. As an experienced teen life skills coach, I have witnessed the incredible transformative power of equipping your teens with the right life skills. Encourage your teens to fail now where they can still receive support and encouragement. Failure is the best teacher. Essential Life Skills for Teens Image by Freepik Here, I am providing you with some of the most important life skills for teens, as per my personal experience. Personal Skills Here are a few personal skills that can help your teens to live better adulthood without facing any mental health issues: Effective Communication: It will help your teens to explain their personal thoughts, emotions, and creative ideas effectively. Good communication skills will enhance your child’s writing, public skills, active listening, and other non-verbal communication. Critical Thinking: It will help your teens to identify accurate information, and make unbiased, and fair decisions by analyzing the arguments genuinely. It’s a great way to boost the problem-solving abilities, logical reasoning, and independent thoughts of your child. Self-Care: Mental health of your child should be your topmost priority! Learning personal skills helps your child to cope with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It’s a perfect way to maintain a healthy lifestyle for your teen. Business/Entrepreneurial Skills Image by pressfoto on Freepik Here are a few business/entrepreneurial skills that can help your child create business opportunities, focus on their goal, and live a successful professional life: Adaptability: Can your teen adjust to a changing environment? If no. Essential life skills coaching can provide your teen with the ability to live in a changing environment without any hassle. In addition, we will help your teen learn the changing trends, technologies, and market conditions. Basic Financial Literacy: The more conversations your child will listen to about money, the more aware he will become to control the finances. It also helps them sharpen their money-management skills before it makes a major impact on their life. Teach them about loans, interest rates and Credit cards. So many young people leave home and do not have any ideas how to manage their finances. I have seen too many young men in the military get a 22% car loan with low monthly payments thinking they were getting a good deal. Time Management: Once your teen mastered the art of time management, he will be able to control his destiny perfectly. This is one of the most important life skills for teens to accomplish without wasting much of their time and energy. Domestic Skills Here are a few domestic teen life skills which every teen should learn early on: Cleaning and Organizing: Starting life on your own might become hard for your child if he doesn’t know the basics of managing a home. It’s vital to teach your teens cleaning techniques along with the importance of a clean and healthier living space. Home Safety: Teenagers must know the important home safety measures, such as basic first aid, fire safety, emergency exits, and how to find the possible dangers in your home. It will help your child to enhance the safety of your home, even in your absence. Grocery Shopping: Teens like to talk about food and what they have heard is good or bad for their bodies. Therefore, it’s best to take your teen grocery shopping and discuss the best fruits and vegetables. Ask them to choose the grocery items on their own by developing a shopping list. Cooking: Now that you have shopped for the food, teach them how to cook. Not boiling hot dogs or putting a meal in the microwave, but really teaching them how to cook. As a Scout Master each 1st year Scout on their very 1st campout had to learn how to cook pancakes. Boy did we see some hard blacked pancakes at the 1st campout. However, when that’s all you have to eat, you learn. By the 2nd or 3rd campouts the scouts were safely cooking chicken, panacks and many other foods and not burning them. Fail early and Fail often, in a safe environment, that is where the real learning is. How These Life Skills Benefit Your Teen? Your child’s life can become more simplified and focused in the right direction just by adopting these essential life skills. When they are aware of their duties and get support from their parents, it becomes easier for them to achieve anything in life. Let’s Get Started! It’s high time to make your teen more aware, responsible, and prepared to face the challenges ahead with ease and confidence. As an experienced teen life skills coach, I can take the responsibility to help your teen get off on the right path to success. Contact me now for a quick discussion! Or if you would like me to talk with your parent group, church or clubs about these or other Teen topics please reach out for that as well. Contact me
- Building Confidence and Self-Esteem: Essential Tools for Young Men
Confidence is the belief in one's ability to succeed. It's a feeling of self-assurance that allows young men to try new things, even if they're afraid of failing. Confidence also helps young men to stand up for themselves and to be assertive. Self-esteem is the overall evaluation of oneself. It's a sense of worth and value that young men have for themselves. It’s important because it affects their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When young men have high self-esteem, they are more likely to be happy, resilient, and successful. Self-confidence and self-esteem are essential tools for young men. They can help them set and achieve goals, take risks, overcome challenges, build healthy relationships, and be happy and successful. Why are Confidence and Self-Esteem Important for Young Men? Self-confidence and self-esteem are important because they can help them to: Set and achieve goals: When young adults have confidence in their abilities, they are more likely to set challenging goals and work hard to achieve them. Take risks: Confidence allows young adults to step outside of their comfort zones and try new things. Taking risks can lead to new experiences, new opportunities, and new learning. Overcome challenges: When young adults face challenges, confidence can help them to stay positive and to persevere. Overcoming challenges can build resilience and self-esteem. Build healthy relationships: Confidence and self-esteem can help young men build healthy relationships with their peers, their family, and their romantic partners. Healthy relationships are essential for happiness and success. Be happy and successful: Confidence and self-esteem are essential for happiness and success. When young adults have confidence and self-esteem, they are more likely to achieve their goals, build healthy relationships, and live a happy and fulfilling life. Best Way To Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence Image by Freepik There are many things young adults can do to build confidence and self-esteem. Some tips include: Set realistic goals and achieve them: It gives them a sense of accomplishment and boosts their confidence. Take on challenges and don't give up: Overcoming challenges can help young men build confidence in their abilities. Surround yourself with positive people: The people we surround ourselves with have a big impact on our self-esteem. When young adults surround themselves with positive people, it helps them to feel good about themselves. Practice positive self-talk: The way we talk to ourselves matters. When young men practice positive self-talk, it helps them to build self-esteem. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments: Everyone has strengths and accomplishments. When young adults focus on their strengths and accomplishments, it helps them to feel good about themselves. Be kind to yourself: It's important to be kind to yourself, even when you make mistakes. When young adults are kind to themselves, it helps them to build self-esteem. If you are a young man who is struggling with low confidence or self-esteem, there are things you can do to improve these essential tools. There are many resources available to help you build confidence and self-esteem. Here are some additional tips for building confidence and self-esteem: Get involved in activities that you enjoy: When you're doing things that you're good at and that you enjoy, it boosts your self-esteem. Take care of yourself: Eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep all contribute to feeling good about yourself. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the act of being in the moment, not concerned with the past or future. Just being present in the here and now. Too often guys that struggle with low confidence or self-esteem find themselves spinning on the same negative thought over and over again. To the point where an activity or even life can seem hopeless. Read below about the Navy Seal Breathing Technique. Seek professional help if needed: If you're struggling with low confidence or self-esteem, talking to a therapist or counselor can help. Remember, confidence and self-esteem are not fixed traits. They can be developed and improved over time. By following the tips above, you can start to build the confidence and self-esteem you need to succeed in life. Navy Seal Breathing Technique (as seen on Quitekit.com) Highly trained military individuals use box breathing — also called “the Navy SEAL breathing technique” Check out Quick https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/ for more information on this process and an image that will help you. Imagine a Circle that grows for 4 seconds, holds for 4 seconds, shrinks for 4 holds for 4 seconds and starts over. Practice this for 2 minutes. It should help you to become more aware and more mindful. Then you can tackle your issue. Inhale for 4 seconds (as the circle expands) Hold your lungs full for 4 seconds (as the circle stays fully expanded) Exhale for 4 seconds (as the circle shrinks) Hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds (as the circle is contracted) Benefits of Life Coaching for Young Men and Self-Confidence Image by Freepik Life coaching for young men can be a great way to help them build self-confidence. A life coach can help young adults identify their strengths and weaknesses, set goals, and develop strategies for achieving those goals. A life coach can also help young adults develop positive self-talk and overcome negative self-beliefs. There are many benefits to life coaching for young men for example: Increased self-confidence: Life coaching can help young men develop a stronger sense of self-worth and self-efficacy. This can lead to increased confidence in all areas of life, including school, work, and relationships. Improved goal-setting: Life coaching can help young men develop specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound goals. This can help them stay motivated and on track to achieve their goals. Enhanced problem-solving skills: Life coaching can help young men develop the skills they need to identify and solve problems. This can help them overcome challenges and setbacks in their lives. Improved decision-making skills: Life coaching can help young men develop the skills they need to make sound decisions. This can help them make choices that are in their best interests. Enhanced communication skills: Life coaching can help young men develop the skills they need to communicate effectively with others. This can help them build stronger relationships and achieve their goals. If you are a young man who is looking to improve your self-confidence, speaking to a life coach may be a good option for you. They can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, set goals, and develop strategies for achieving those goals. A life coach can also help you develop positive self-talk and overcome negative self-beliefs. Here are some tips for finding a life coach: Ask for referrals from friends, family, or teachers. Search online for life coaches in your area. Interview several coaches before making a decision. Make sure the coach is a good fit for your personality and needs. Life coaching can be a great investment in your future. If you are looking to improve your self-confidence and achieve your goals, get in touch with us and we can help you get started on the path to a more confident you.
- How to Help Your Teen Build Healthy Relationship Habits
Image by bristekjegor on Freepik Adolescence undoubtedly comes with its own set of challenges. Peer pressure, relationships, and hormonal changes can be too much to bear sometimes! Being a relationship communication coach and a father of two young men, I'm aware of the challenges they are experiencing. That is why today, I would like to share some of my tips for helping your teen build healthy relationship habits. Encourage Open Communication Healthy relationship development depends heavily on open communication. As a teen life skills coach, I focus on teaching effective communication to teenagers to encourage them to communicate honestly and openly. I also make them understand that listening is as important as speaking. Both verbal and nonverbal communication play a part in creating good relationships. Establish Boundaries Image by Freepik Building healthy relationships calls for setting up clear and healthy boundaries. I always advise my teens to establish boundaries and feel confident enough to decline anything that doesn't align with their values--particularly in the early stages of a relationship. This will provide a secure and sound space to cultivate good relationship habits. Build Trust Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship indeed. As a relationship coaching expert, I encourage teens to be honest and transparent with their partners. Allow them to disclose their true sentiments and intentions to build a strong foundation for their relationship. This boosts emotional stability and may lead to a deeper and more engaging connection. Teach Conflict Resolution Skills Image by stockking on Freepik Conflict is a natural part of relationships, but how we handle it can make all the difference. While peer relationship coaching for teens, I teach my clients communication techniques to help them resolve conflicts effectively and respectfully. You can also remind them to listen carefully, remain polite, and seek common ground in resolving arguments. Model Healthy Relationships Model healthy relationships with your partner, friends, and family members. Practice open communication, respect boundaries, prioritize self-respect, and resolve conflicts effectively. Simply by seeing and interacting with you, your teen will pick up important interpersonal skills. Remember, your actions as a parent serve as an example for your child. Promote Self-Love Image by Freepik Finally, it's important for your teen to practice self-love. Teenagers may find it difficult to feel confident in their own skin because of the media's promotion of unrealistic beauty standards. Help your kid appreciate and love themselves for who they are--both on the inside and out. They will be better able to build solid, long-lasting relationships with others if they do this. Wrapping It Up As a teen life coach, I have seen the positive impact of coaching on teens who are struggling to build healthy relationships. By applying these tips, and with the help of professional relationship coaching, your teen can learn how to build healthy relationship habits that will serve them well in all areas of their life. Need additional life coaching for teen boys tips and support? SEND ME A MESSAGE! Let’s work together to build a firm foundation for your relationships.